So I really need some advice from you seasoned moms. I've been struggling with this for weeks now and have sought out answers from friends but none of them have been through the same thing. I have even searched for answers via online forums but don't know what to do.
I posted well over a month ago that Adelaide was pretty much potty trained. Well, that was a month ago. She did an amazing job for about 3 weeks but then just quit. The timing sort of correlated with some attitude issues we also started facing.
Anytime we ask her if she needs to potty she says no. For awhile it was just poop accidents and now it's even back to pee accidents all the time. She will go when we make her sit on the potty but other than that, she has no desire. She can remain dry if we force her to go when we think she needs to, but she'll never say she needs to do it anymore. She isn't motivated by bribes, praise, or anything. She doesn't even seem to mind being wet or poopy anymore.
We tried taking a break for the weekend when we were out of town. We decided we'd put her in pull ups and not say a thing. She started asking to go all on her own and actually had less accidents. Awesome. So we thought we'd just carry that same idea when we came home, don't ask her and maybe her interest would peak again. No such luck. Today (granted she is sick) I think she maybe only used the potty twice. That's it.
It's stressful. I wonder if I should just quit and try again later, but then the thought of it makes me feel like a failure. I don't like to give up or back track, but I'm starting to wonder if even though Adelaide is totally ready physically if it was just too much for her emotionally to be such a big girl. She seems to already understand alot about the new baby and has been saying she wants to be a baby too. I don't know if that is playing a part at all or not.
Anyway, I'd LOVE any stories you have (if they wouldn't make me feel like more of a failure) and any advice you have to share on the subject. I really feel totally clueless at this point, but the idea of pushing something that seems hopeless also seems too stressful AND the idea of going back to diapers seems ridiculous. Maybe it's not and I just need to get over it. Help!
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10 comments:
You are definitely not a failure :) My parents had my little brother nearly completely pottytrained before we moved cross country, and then they had to start over. Kids go through phases and I'm sure it will be on the up cycle again soon.
We had starts and stops with Brynna too. I decided to just set aside potty training altogether for a while and come back to it. When we did come back to it, she was fully trained in two days. Don't worry, potty training is not a pass/fail subject for parents. As it is, you're setting yourself up for a power struggle, a no win set-up for success
I agreed with all the other moms - potty training stops and starts many times.
Josh also went through a "baby" phase before and after Kip was born. Frustrating, yes, but it does pass. He is proudly not a baby, but a kid, now.
I have found out that the success of potty training is on the child. You cannot think of yourself as a failure because your child does not want or desire to use the potty. My children go through phases where they are interested and then they are not. I have come to the conclusion that it will happen when they are ready NOT when I want them to be ready. We all struggle with the end of baby into child stage. You are not alone.
don't worry! you're doing a great job with Adelaide and you're a wonderful mama. i know less about potty training than you but i DO know those things...
love you!
YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE...I REPEAT...YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! :o)
You're doing awesome.
I agree with what all the other mom's have said. It's totally a kid-to-kid thing, but I tried 3 times before Munchkin had the potty training thing down. Once it clicked, it really clicked.
I would just let Adelaide stay familiar with the whole process, by going whenever she wants, but give yourself some grace and start again later if you need to.
Hang in there, and I'll be praying for your sanity in the mean time! :o)
Ditto, ditto, ditto. ;) If she's ready, she'll do it. If not, relish in the fact that the words, "I need to potty NOW" do not evoke panic in you as you are trying to deal with an infant or end stages of pregnancy. Suzy regressed as well and I loved being able to say, "Mommy will be with you shortly. If you can't go potty by yourself, just use your diaper and I'll help you as soon as ...." Comically, it made her want to be independent much more. ;) Ah, the joys of toddlerhood. Hang in there! Almost everyone is potty trained by kindergarten!
Totally agree. And just to reiterate what you already said, most kids regress when a new baby joins the family. Just think, although it is a blessing, it is also the biggest and most stressful change they've ever faced. It is scary to give up being a baby because toddlerhood is unknown (like transitioning to adulthood). I kept reminding myself that this is a wonderful opportunity to show my child grace, just like God has been gently and graceful with me. I know you're doing a great job!
I've been substituting for a class of two year olds for the last few weeks and heard how some came in potty trained then regressed. I think it's because they are mixed in with kids who aren't trained, but not too sure. We make sure they where pull-ups and constantly ask them if they need to go to the potty and make a big deal when they potty and even for trying to go even if they don't make it in time. Moms have told us that even if they say no you have to take them because they will go. Hopefully she'll get through this soon!
You are doing GREAT, Sunee! This potty training doesn't have much to do with you. When Adelaide is ready, she will do it. We struggled a lot with our first, and in the end, learned that when they are ready, they will train themselves. I'd stop pushing it with Adelaide and every few days ask her if she wants to wear underwear (and remind her how underwear works - she has to go potty). Don't beat yourself up. She'll be trained by the time she goes to Kindergarten!
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